[PSP] クリミナルガールズ

I have to admit, despite being a longtime RPG fan, I haven't been playing one in ages. After finishing Tokyo Mono Hara Shi to game-breaking proportions, I've mainly stuck to Galges and Otoges since my schedule has become rather hectic and offers little free time to get serious with dungeon crawls and grinding.

Nippon Ichi's Criminal Girls got me back on the RPG loop before it was too late. The sprite-based graphics and gameplay are bland to say the least, looking like they were merely recycled from a PSX (or maybe even a Super Famicom) game... but it's most controversial aspect is the heavily marketed appeal to moe and S&M fans: Punishing "bad" girls.

Welcome to Hell! It's hot as you'd expect, so feel free to shed any excess articles of clothing.

Upon dying, souls of girls who have done bad deeds in their lifetime emerge in Hell's Castle as prisoners, where they are collectively tagged as "Criminals" (To be precise, 半罪人 han-zaijin or literally "Half-Sinner", implying that their misdeeds are not that heavy) . Criminals will be guided by a castle warden to undergo a series of trials to atone for their sins using the "Yomigaeri" disciplinary program, whose passers are guaranteed a second chance at life. You take on the role of an unnamed trainee warden who has been assigned to take 4 Criminals (3 of the escapees will be added later since this motley crew are supposed to represent the Seven Deadly Sins) to perform the Yomigaeri trials. Confronting Monster Criminals are part of the test, but lately they seem to be growing in number and becoming more ferocious than usual...

Regular oppai just doesn't cut it nowadays... one bakunyuu character is needed to balance things out. Tomoe fills the need very well, and comes with a sultry Kansai accent to boot.

Criminal Girls works like your regular run-of-the mill RPG, but has a whole slew of funky features to make itself stand out from the bandwagon: For one, your main character will not be fighting at all: He's just a guide, and the Criminal Girls do all the dirty work. They initially refuse to do so however, so you have to obtain OP and a disciplinary device (whips, cattle prods, drip bottles, etc.) to get them to... well, behave.

Kisaragi, you've been a verry bad girl today... *preps her for spanking*

I hope you've learned your lesson... hold that pose for a minute though. *grin*

"Punishment" is done inside a camp. Each disciplinary measure costs a certain amount of OP to start, and you'll have to do mini-games that require good gamer reflexes to excel in. After administering a punishment, you'll score points used towards making a girl learn a special skill for combat, support or field use. Each level gets tougher though, but if you keep at it and do exceptionally well in the 4th level, you'll also be treated to a deliciously erotic CG (barely within CERO standards) showing the punished girl in a compromising position, often with panchira. If you fall short of getting the full CG treat, don't fret; you can redo the punishment sequences at no OP cost upon maxing them out.

If they're able to perform a special now, let them. You never know when they'll feel like doing it again.

The battle system of Criminal Girls is quite simple at first glance, though the simplicity ends in looks alone. Your group's offensive capabilities are heavily dependent on your consistency with the Punishment sequences and the length of your patience. The only commands you can freely perform are "Change Party Members", "Escape" and "Item", while the girls use their learned skills when they feel like it, which is evident on their random dialogue balloons. Moreover, the girl you pick will be the only one who can act, while the enemies have one turn each. (and then some) This will improve over time, both with your "tough love" approach and the story sequences. They'll start teaming up in twos, threes or as a whole group, or learn devastating "Bond Attacks" when the right conditions are met.

 So what's a good girl like Yuko doing in Hell? Simple. She loves her sister Sako so much that she followed her here. The degree of love she's talking about  is best left to your (guttered) imagination.

Every good master knows how to balance between barking orders and taking time to listen to his/her wards. After a few good whips on the bum, some of the girls will open up to you and start a "Girl's Order" subquest, where they'll ask you to take them to a certain area to fetch an item, perform a task, or fight a special battle. Successfully meeting these requests will reduce OP and MP costs, which is a pretty nice incentive. (as if the CGs in the Punishment sequences weren't incentive enough)

Alice will learn ice magic later on, which is a great way to survive Hell's heat and do in some badass Monster Criminals. Two conveniences in one lolilicious little package.

So if you can look past the plain graphics (save for the CGs which are anything BUT plain), Criminal Girls can prove to be a very interesting play. Some people may be put off by the Punishment aspect, but even if S&M doesn't float your boat, disciplining a 2D moeblob can serve as a very satisfying (insert double entendre here) stress reliever.