[SS] 伝説の糞ゲー紹介01：デスクリムゾン

Before getting quite a number of Rail Shooters for the PS3, I mainly just do it in the arcades and some older systems (until the age of LCD TV came around which essentially made the old light guns useless). My aim isn't really good enough to pass for those FPS games (who have a ton of exploit-users in online matches), so these will have to do.

Among those I've played, the most memorable one that comes to mind (though not in the positive sense) was Death Crimson. Created for the Sega Saturn in 1996 by a company called Ecole Software, this rail shooter had the distinction of being the best of the worst;. so much so that it earned a place among 2chan users as one of those considered "Kusoge of Lore" 

 Seeing that there aren't that many people outside of Japan who know it (let alone understand it) well enough to make a detailed analysis, I'm taking upon myself to do just that.

Beware, this is gonna be quite long. People who aren't really interested in Japanese Kusoge history need not apply.

Video of the opening is provided, plus a little run though since it's a jumbled mess of ambiguity. Mind the volume, it might get loud

The thing starts with a weird creature screaming and an oh-so ominous command that may be a translation of sorts:

"クリムゾンを取り返せ..." - Bring back the Crimson.

What follows is a wire-frame base of the culprit who took the item in question. A voice of an old man starts a narrative line "It happened around 10 years ago", the character is identified as:

*Full Name:  Echizen Kousuke
*Code Name Combat Echizen

Maybe it's just me, but aren't code names used to hide your real identity?

The character frame is then completed (though the proportions were haphazardly done) , followed by a dancing gray stick with "Death Crimson" written in roman letters.

After the funky CGs, we're treated to some clips of a real life mountain path leading to the ruins of an old military fortification in Tomogashima. This was taken by Ecole's company head during a trip to said island. Some stock sound effects were added to make it look like there's a war going on. It's hard to tell at first, but there are three soldiers in the thick of the action: Echizen with his merry companions, Greg and Danny.

*Echizen: "Danny! Greg! Are you guys still alive!?!"
*Greg: "Yeah, barely."
*Echizen: "Watch out! They're coming from above!"

From what little we can gather, they're supposedly being attacked by enemies riding a chopper. Anyone will tell you that the most sensible thing to do is to take cover in a dense area where you can't be clearly targeted. However, Echizen and Co. take a flight of stairs going up instead.

Mmyup.

There's speculation in certain reference sites that the context might be "The enemy is coming from above but we have no choice but to ascend, so advance with care".  

Incidentally, Echizen's "Coming from above" line became a widely used gaming gag reference all over 2ch and Nico, even appearing as one of Neptune's random voice clips in the Choujigen Game series.

*Greg: "Over here, Echizen!"

Following Greg's lead, the trio escapes into the ruins. As if they haven't encountered enough stairs already, Echizen takes special notice to one leading down...

*Echizen: "What's up with these stairs?"
*Greg: "Anyway, let's go in..."

Danny doesn't seem to be talking. Is he mute or something? (Minor spoiler: He has speaking parts in Death Crimson 2)

Deep inside the ruins, they find some doors. Another epic line will soon come out of Echizen's mouth...

*Echizen: "Since we're here and all, I'll choose the red door."

No dear viewer, a double-take isn't necessary. The door is colored anything but red. If you take a good look at the top, you'll see that there's a red symbol. That may be what made Echizen refer to it as "The red door". A lot of people didn't notice it immediately and thought that Echizen was irrational from war stress or just plain dumb. Nonetheless, this line also became a gag reference, though not as widespread as the earlier one.

The doors open, and we witness the pickup of a very odd-looking gun. This is the Death Crimson. The minute it fell into Echizen's hands, the man earned himself more enemies in the form of monsters under the command of Death Bysnos (the screamer from the very first scene).

Still with us? That's just the opening movie, we haven't even hit the game proper yet.

The title screen is hideous. The little claw on the letter "a" does a two-frame wiggle every so often. I usually don't look at it for more than 5 seconds though.

Stage 2 is also selectable at the beginning, but if you start from there, you'll be running the game with nary a continue. Given that there's no invincibility gap between hits, the screen will be over in a minute or so if about 4 or more enemies get the jump on you.

Calibration is a disappointment in more ways than one. Not only does it recycle that weird monster graphic, the function in itself is a moot point. The crosshair never really moves the way you want it to no matter how many times you calibrate, and that's a fatal flaw for any rail shooter game.

Upon opening the options menu, this pops up. More than half the screen is composed of dead space, large lettering and that monster from the title and calibration parts. On top of that, the only thing you can toggle is audio. Quite frankly, this game could've used a difficulty option due to the nigh-impossibility of some the given stages..

The guy in the white uniform,  given the unofficial moniker "Satou-san" is one of the two NPCs you must not shoot. Problem is, he appears way too often, indirectly serving as an obstacle keeping you from offing the more dangerous targets. If you accidentally shoot him, Echizen will go "Oh, no!" (albeit with a slightly happy tone)

Getting to the actual game, it's about what anyone would expect from the mess established by the opening and the title screen. The cursor doesn't move too well, the graphics are grainy, and the structure scale isn't synched well with the enemy and victim sprites. Also, a single scene (which in this game means a stage chapter) takes about 4 to 6 minutes to go through since the flow seems to have Echizen taking a sort of "scenic tour" (pun intended).

The background music is also a mismatch. For the game that's supposed to have a sort of military theme with a touch of dark fantasy to it, the organ tunes are way too upbeat and are often grating. Samples provided below.

Scene 1 BGM

Scene 2 & 6 BGM

If you're one of the few people who actually stuck with this game up to the final battle, you'll know that the ending will serve as a major disappointment. After the CG movie where the final boss is reduced to nothingness, no closure is provided. You just get treated to the "STUFF" (sic) credits roll.

Interestingly enough, all the characters in this game were done by a single voice actor going by the name "Seijirou". Echizen's funky voice, Greg's gruff pipes, the weird monster wails, it's all him.

I haven't played the latter games Death Crimson 2 and Death Crimson OX, but judging from the nicovids I've watched, Death Crimson 2 is quite up there with the first game's quality (or lack thereof)  and features adventure parts divided between the two main characters Yuri and Kou.

DC2's poor story flow stems from it being handed the unfortunate (and often time-consuming) task of bringing to light the ambiguous history of it's predecessor. OX on the other hand, is a slightly improved version of DC2 sans the adventure parts and boasts a somewhat more responsive shooting game system and better arranged music. It's only flaw is that FMVs pop up more than they should, oftentimes ruining the game's tempo.

Despite the rocky history, it's a wonder Ecole didn't go under just like that. In fact, they continued to publish a number of titles for home systems and arcade machines in the years to come, among them the Melty Blood series and the first two Arcana Heart games. The company's more recent work is an arcade fighting game "UNDER NIGHT IN-BIRTH" released in 2012.

The odd thing about kusoge is that they may be reviled at the beginning, but will eventually become a subject of humor in more ways than one. Love or hate them, they will always be around. Every year promises the birth of at least one or more kusoge, either from a newcomer firm with weird budget allocations or an established one who sat on their laurels too long and forgot the meaning of quality over quantity.

EXTRA: Some fan(?) comic pages who try to better elaborate the scenes from the opening (and doing a bang-up job of it, too):

 Source: http://www.hatsune.cc/game/kusoge/death/

Source: http://seiga.nicovideo.jp/user/illust/10821770?target=seiga